Life./

CHICKEN WING AND SHIT

2011-10-27T00:05:00.002+08:00

ok so apparently this is kindda a rubbish post,
a place for me to rant which i hope nobody can see.
A level's coming up and i'm feeling the stress now and as you can see, im actually here blogging instead of studying. I'm so screwed i tell you ):
and then i feel so pathetic most of the time
like im not worthy of something
i wonder where the past me went to.
the more confident and smart me.
its like i have totally become stupid.
and why do i feel like i am annoying others
i dont even know that person but im afraid that i might actually offend the person or something
and then why am i irritated by people who i call friends?
why am i so affected by what other people do?
i know i shouldnt be like that, i shoud be myself.
but i just cant help the times when the tears start to fall and the heart beats furiously
actually, i think, sometimes i hate this world.
because it isnt fair. i know there are people who are worse off that me, but i only want to compare with those who have better lifes than me. im pathetic.
and incoherent. i dont even know what im talking about now.
ok goodbye, at least i have my driftwood yesung.
probably one of the only things keeping me floating and making me smile considering the fact that the others do not have much updates
linzhiying's new drama is playing though, i love him too.

LEFTOUT

2011-05-16T23:02:00.002+08:00

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):
i always feel so left out
when i see other's convo on twitter
when we have group outings no matter with who
when im unfollowed
when i see people doing some activity that im not invited
;A;
its like i am at the bottom class of a social hierarchy

I'm feeling so upset now.

2011-04-25T21:44:00.001+08:00

and i can't find anywhere to vent it
even watch yesung won't help.
ottokei?

I ALWAYS FEEL SO LEFT OUT. ):

2011-04-23T00:49:00.001+08:00

ALWAYS.

HAYYTHURE

2011-04-17T01:27:00.002+08:00

i realised that everytime i blog, its has gotta do with something bad that have happened recently. hahas and its true for this time again. hockey nationals on monday! i really really feel that we can win, but we dont. and thats nnot the main point of my worries. sometimeds i just feel like i have no friends. like verry little, not many know or even get close to what i am thinking there are quite a number of hi bye friends and some closer ones where we actually have common things we like in common. but i just dont feel like they are friends. i really really hate human relationships, its like always so difficult to figure out. so i would rather turn my attention to things like yesung and linzhiying. and theres stiill the problem of my face, its like getting more and more horrible. ;A; this world is so depressinng DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

APPARENTLY WHAT I THOUGHT WASNT WHAT YOU THOUGHT.

2011-03-08T20:21:00.002+08:00

YEAH RIGHT,
i use my fucking butt also know that you are actually refering to me.
and it hurts fucking much you know?
i thought we were friends
at least, i thought you would believe me when i fucking said i didnt study,
try having hockey at night 3 times a week. even if i had time, i would be too tired to study and sleep on my notes.
is it my fault that i have talent like wts? is it my fault if i can fucking score?
i dont know how to face you anymore.
if you were that fucking pissed, tell it too my face.
you cant imagine how i felt when i saw this.

i hope we can still be friends,
i just dont know if i will see you the same after this.
goodbye.

MY NEW HAIR

2011-02-16T22:40:00.000+08:00

shocked everyone that day

mixed comments about my hair

but im kinda satisfied with it.

have you ever got this feeling that you hate someone but then you know you shouldn't spoil your relationship?

2011-02-16T22:07:00.003+08:00

it sucks really, and i dont know what to do
but sometimes i dont really hate that person.
it just that it really irks me to see her status updates etc etc comments on my photos etc and stuff.

i dont even know whether i hate her,
but it makes me feel damn irritated.
i bet people think we get along fine in school
but can they sense my sarcasm and how much i tend to try to avoid her?

i really feel like a hypocrite like this
but i cant get rid of this stupid feeling D:

THISGUY.

2011-01-18T21:45:00.002+08:00

i feel like i fail in life DDDDDDDDDDD:
or maybe i dont even have a life.

and i think weird stuff, and the most unlikely person motivates me.

.

2011-01-15T12:31:00.002+08:00

sometimes i forget i have current school friends on twitter when i rant.
shit,
i wished that some would disappear from my twitter though, then i could rant without explaining and fearing that the person im ranting about knows.

im not really scared that the person knows
just that it will be awkward having to see each other everyday and poor you knows that i dont like you.
its nice having status quo now, although sometimes i really feel like stabbing you with an imaginary stick.

SOMETIMES I FEEL THAT PPL DONT LIKE ME D:

2011-01-11T21:38:00.000+08:00

OTL

SOMETIMES I FEEL JEALOUS OF PEOPLE.

2011-01-03T02:39:00.001+08:00

jealous of people's long legs
jealous of people's fair skin
jealous of people's money
jealous of people's friends
jealous of people's relationship
jealous of people's beauty
jealous of yesung's face/skin/cuteness
jealous of people's intelligience

what the hockey?!

2010-12-23T22:18:00.000+08:00

Today I hahas kind of did horribly. Its kind of like I missed those simple balls that could be stopped like freaking easily. Then after the match was even worse. It was pretty upsetting cause I did my best, and yet it sounded like only the excos placed effort. D: D: D: D: D: its not like I want recognition or what the shit. But I just feel that its damn unfair to ppl who turn up every training and yet those who are in the exco are the ones putting in freaking effort. Its just so not fair. But then again, nothing is ever fair in this world right?
I hope they dont get the wrong idea. Still I feel like I will be in deep shit if anyone reads this D:

D:

2010-12-15T21:23:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wonder why i put in so much effort in something,
and dont even do it well/ get recognised.

while someone else skips practices etc
and does the same thing way better than me
even being outstanding,

OTL FML

im sick too you know
but im still going to practices. like WTH

right wrong right wrong?

2010-12-04T19:46:00.001+08:00

i think im really weird.
i want something and i dont work hard to get it
then i get all upset when someone else got it.

this should not be the case!
why hiangngee not with me in OGL?
frustrated, ;~;

HOW? I FEEL LOUSY LIKE FUCKING LOUSY> D:

2010-12-01T23:15:00.001+08:00

its wrong to choose me for OGL i swear.
if there was hiangngee, it would be so much better i swear i swear.

shag.

2010-11-30T22:44:00.001+08:00

Hello, im frigging shag
and i havent done my hw, jap etc etc.
and here i am D:
watch me die when school reopens.
its dec tmr alr
wtf.

a video to remind you how awesome yesung is.

2010-11-24T23:25:00.000+08:00

this is about my fandom.

2010-11-24T22:45:00.002+08:00

i seriously dont really know what im feeling,
its kind of a mixture of piss and watever i dont know
i think i jolly well have the feelings of a robot.

ok its like in the first place he wont even know me and like he wont even care about how i feel
and then there is like the number of fans they have just reflects their popularity, nothing else i bet.
but it affects me so much.

its a weird feeling
and its damn weird. oh jay-zus.
its like i get all upset and worked up when people dont really like yesung as compared to the other members and etc etc
and then there is another part of me that works entirely in the opposite direction.

I DON'T REALLY WANT TO SHARE HIM! asdfjjrrgtwkenkak ;A;

so now, even i don't really know what in the world i want.

and then sometimes i watch some fancams that shows him absolutely sweet to his fans
and then sometimes i feel what he does is kind of mean, like ignoring some things his fan threw to him
and then sometimes he is so absolutely adorable in fancams, not acting like his age, being his true self i guess
and then sometimes i catch a picture of him with a cigarette. ( only once)

then i feel like omg i dont know this person at all.
of course, what we see may not be like who they really are.
but sometimes i feel that he is just like that,

im being incoherant, i know. its just what my brain is now.
all jumbled up mess.

then there are the other people that jumbles my already jumbled up brain even further.
like people who pass a remark about yesung, bringing my hopes up
and then next moment dash it by saying she actually like another people better.

and then there are like others that kind of upset me.
ok so today i was like :" KRY is cool. theres one damn high and one damn low and one in the middle"
by that of course i meant that ryeowook's voice was damn high and yesungie's was damn low and kyu's was somewhere in the middle.
then she was like kyuhyun one is damn low.
and i was like yesung's lower
and she was like no or something.
but seriously, yesung has the lowest voice doesnt he?
my comment wasnt meant for a comparison anyway. and the way they made it like kyu is the best in everything in the world just pissed me off.
HELLO, there are other people with their opinions too. and i like kyu too, just not as much as yesung. and i wasnt even comparing hello.
why must they do that?!

and then i start to realise that no one i know actually likes yesung. ;A; why?
a reason i cannot fanthom.

and i am actually quite unsure why i like him either.
but i think i must really like him to write such a long entry.

people, please remember that everyone has their idols.

fine kyu is fine or even better is what i get all the time
when will i get someone or even meet someone in my face and tell me yesung is gorgeous?

end of rant. affirmative.

the horror story of the quail egg.

2010-11-23T23:37:00.001+08:00

rants

2010-11-23T23:36:00.001+08:00

sometimes i feel that my cca ruins my life.
im suffering from it,
its like im not meant for it.

oh man stressed out by it.

hey fuck you.

the urge.

2010-11-21T22:21:00.002+08:00

i dont know why i have this sudden urge to blog.
could be cause of the keyboard that i am using now, or maybe the need to rant.

but the problem lies in that there is nothing to rant about.,

oh i am stopping my japanese lessons since the examinations might clash with A levels next year,
i think i will kind of miss it.
but actually i somehow feel, like i have watsed one year learning it since until now theres still so much that i cant understand.
feel so embarrassed when someone asks you to help with something and there you are saying erm hahas i also dont understand. then the person will be like dont you learn jap?!

those awkward moments.

and i having stop disliking her.,
its kind of mean of me like even after the thing have passed for so long
i just kind of feel that once i see your true colours i cant revert my brain to going back to the times before that.
i feel irksome when i see stuff related to her and i know i havent put it down.
i dont even know what the hell feeling is that, it could even be jealousy, but again, whats there to be jealous about?

then theres still the whole awesome part about being an ogl alone
and hockey. FML D:

my perfect screencap

2010-11-09T01:25:00.000+08:00

at the right moment, the right time, by coincidence :D

you so cute hahas,

SMILE

2010-11-08T00:07:00.001+08:00

i like my wallpaper cause he is like smiling at my icons
hahas k bye

AGRAHD

2010-10-31T20:33:00.002+08:00

i need help!
my op sucks
i want to become pretty
i want to become tall
i want to become whiter
i want to be pimple free
i want to be a good speaker
i want to go to super show 3 singapore
i want to be good in my jap
i want to have pretty legs
i want to present well for op
i want to do well in pw
i want to be good in hockey
i want to have sporty genes
i want to dance well
i want to sing well

it may all sound bimbo or what but this is currently what i want
help me to acheive it.

SS3?

2010-10-23T23:15:00.002+08:00

since i saw 1111 twice today, can i make a wish?

i am so afraid that what i like isnt what i see
he looked so aloof in the fancam at the airport unlike another fancam
can it be that they have double personalities?
like one in front of the camera and one at the back.
sometimes maybe its just that they are tired out or something, but the double personalities of humans make me afraid.

i just hope that he is what i see him to be
all the good things i saw about him so far.
i wonder what is going on in their minds,

anyways after reading angel and demons, maybe there is a god.
so make my wish come true pretty please?
actually i havent wished yet, is it void alr?

i feel sucky like i have no life, fangirl all day.

T^T

2010-10-18T21:17:00.002+08:00

i think i have been depressed lately.
everything makes me damn upset, even simple things.
but simple things makes me happy too, of course.

Why dont the school just return us our promotional papers?
it beats keeping us in suspense and going through the answers during lecture and tutorials and making me think that i failed all my subjects, even those that i was confident before.
it makes me upsetD:
then theres still hockey, im not as atheletic as you think i am
now i kind of regret killing my life just for that nice pretty red stupid hockey skirt.
im just so not up to standard. but i cant quit.
i have to hang inside there,
but do you even know how stressed i feel before each and every training?
and how i feel about if i were to miss a training? i will be like im alr not up to standard and yet im not practicing and on the other hand i feel kind of happy that i dont have to train.
my brain is like exploding

i really want to do well in both studies and hockey.
D:
SAVE ME
maybe one day i will just disappear?

I HATE THE FEELING THAT THERE MIGHT BE CREEPERS ARD

GIVE?

2010-10-18T21:03:00.001+08:00

feeling freaking stressed over my cca.
how?
and theres still pwD:

3:

2010-10-11T21:54:00.002+08:00

life after promos is not what i thought it to be D:
its still as stressful as before
especially PW it sucks

but nevermind i can go on about yesung and jimmy lin:D:D
lots of pictures on tumblr
yesung's ones only thought cause not many jimmy ones

love them:D
~~friends~~ seems to be useless when you are stressed.
when everyone is who will give a damn about you?

letters to a person.

2010-10-09T22:46:00.002+08:00

or rather letter.

Dear you,

i bet you dont know this, but i kind of hate you.

I thought i have given up hate already, ok so lets say its a stong dislike

and im sure this feeling isnt mutual and i kind of feel that you dont know what you are doing much.

but seriously, i strongly dislike you and would rather you dislike me back

its quite bad that i cannot hurl abuses at you.

but maybe you didnt mean it.

but your words fucking hurt me, your attitude sucks and you are way too inflexible.

i wonder if you are my age,

of course there are some times when i feel that we could be friends

but the other times where i feel the strong dislike for you way overrides it,

you make my mood foul. seriously.

sometimes, or maybe more, i just want to be far away from you.

dont you know some basic manners?

why cant you talk to two person at the same time?

must you tell me something like "im not talking to you" or "im talking to her can you not interrupt" etc to me?

fine if you dont like me talking to you, dont i have the fucking right to talk to my other friends?!

you do not know me. AT ALL.

so sop pretending like you do! wtf.

and stop trying to engage me in those useless conversation after those words.

go awayD:

of course theres still more but it should be until here for today.

Just fuck off. THANKYOU

2010-09-16T22:17:00.001+08:00

Yay! Now I can blog on my phone using this email thingy. So there will be more frequent updates on my blog. But it will most probably be lame stuff about my life but its my ranting ground. Evil ppl beware! Now the most evil of all is my physics notes.

Im so tired. :/

2010-09-16T22:03:00.000+08:00

Life have been pretty hectic recently. Up to my neck in work. D: I need more yesungie! And eddie haejin and linzhiying they seem to have disappeared:( rawrs

YESUNG blowing kiss

2010-09-06T15:57:00.003+08:00

darn adorable again
only this time, i made this!
proud leh!~
shall attempt eddie linzhiying and haejin's next time
i bet haejin will have lots cause he fails!

SS3

2010-08-31T20:24:00.001+08:00

DONNA IS MAKING MY HEART ITCH!
SUPERSHOW3 SINGAPORE?

concert on mount fuji.

2010-08-28T21:48:00.002+08:00

"It looks like you haven't put much thought into it. I want to hold a concert on top of Mount Fuji. The fans at the bottom of the mountain....and we will perform at the top of the mountain."
-yesung to sungmin

hahas he is so darn cute! and i remember sungmin's reply was something like "the fans wont be able to see us" or something.
wanted to post the video but sad that it is removed.

i laughed like shit when i watched.
i hope yesung doesnt change.
stay cute and weird always,

nothings good.

2010-08-25T20:22:00.002+08:00

no, nothing is going well.
the starting was fine,
but my ending sucked.

its not like i dont want to do well for hockey,
sometimes you got you have that little talent.
whatever bullshit about practicing and working hard will allow you to succeed is fake.
i have tried, but failed once and once again

COOL!

2010-08-24T19:08:00.003+08:00

this is the coolest thing ever:
a weird girl who think people defending their idols are childish and yet doesnt think her actions are childish too.
hahas although i love yesung, but im looking at this from an objective view.
probably some suju fan did something bad to her?

hahas but im having some fun reading her posts,
i learn, you know.
and you can see how smart they are actually but wasting their time on such stuff.
seriously, get a life people.

this will only result in a vicious cycle.

for entertainment and some laughter or maybe some anger, click here

but i still love yesung(:
no matter what, people have flaws.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

2010-08-24T18:43:00.003+08:00

It seems like many people's birthday today,
theres KIMJONGWOON, RUPERT GRINT and MY AH MM(uncle's wife)
hahas so theres it
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO:

wonderful guy KIMJONGWOON

and rupert grint

and ahmm

hahas wanted to look for a pic of rupert grint but im too lazy.

OH and its AUDREY's birthday tmr!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEOPLES.

HOT athletes!

2010-08-22T21:49:00.002+08:00

HOCKEY YOG on friday was damn nice!
esp the australia vs belgium guys match!
plus there were hot guys

hahas

my infactuation with yesung is still carrying on.
how? haejin eddie and linzhiying do something to kind of impede it?
why are you all not doing anything?
i miss linzhiying most.
you used to act so many period dramas and sing.
ok so now you have got a family, are you going to stop your career?
come back please.

anyways i realised he likes the star earstuds and those black bands
i like the starearstud too. if i see something similar i will get them.

tadaaa.

disclaimer: EOM SUCKS! eff you pw,

Synchronised perfectly!

2010-08-15T00:02:00.002+08:00

omg i love the synchronised dancing.
high school musical cannot compare to this.
everyone even the other dancers are sync-ed!
look at sj more diff

tired-ed

2010-08-12T23:28:00.004+08:00

these few days have been really tiring, with lots of tests and esp EOM
i hate PW! wonder if i will die worse if i entered poly since they have many projects.

oh and the list of people that i dislike is getting longer and longer
thats bad, but they really are getting on my nerves.
maybe its because of the increased workload recently.

i seriously must work hard. need 2 Ds and 2Ss to retain 4 H2s

think of happier stuff... like? <3 :D

yesung(and many at that)

eddie and his beloved camera (and goldfish?):D

linzhiying(what is he doing now?)

parkhaejin (what is he doing now too?)

omg and hiangngee knows haejin and hot blood! how cool is that?:D

and eddie is on tv now! (oh just now)

JIAYOUS

Think positive.

2010-08-11T20:59:00.002+08:00

Was today really that bad? IDK
hahas i think im being influenced.
thats bad,
but i think its because of the activity yesung has that make me like him even more.
what are you doing? linzhiying haejin
at least eddie seems to be doing something

and did i tell you that i like yesung maybe cause of resonance?
i do weird stuff too.
like seriously.

gotta redo my EOM.

think positive girl.

Where's my national day again.

2010-08-10T15:15:00.002+08:00

As quickly as it comes, it goes.
DANG! i haven't even enjoyed yet and tmr there is a stupid chem trail spa
econs test that is 10% of promos and AQ test
and the best part is i don't feel like studying at all
and i don't even know how to do an AQ

i want to blame it on cher. but since yunxian can do it why can't i

feeling damn busy, yet online
wth im i doing.
FML.

;~;

KIM JONG WOON

2010-08-03T18:42:00.002+08:00

All about kim jong woon otherwise known as yesung.
hahas some points are funny(:

Trivia

↘Hobbies: singing, listening to music, sport, reading, watching movies, exercising, reading manga
↘In 2001, his mom’s sent an online application for him, then tricked him into coming to Seoul with her, supposedly to visit her friend.
↘He’s Catholic.
↘He can’t even drink one bottle of alcohol.
↘His fans are also called Cloud.

↘He has the biggest head and the smallest hands of the group.
↘He doesn’t wear revealing clothing because he has a Jeju island shaped birthmark on his stomach.
↘He has a younger brother named Jongjin.
↘His perfect girl is someone like Moon Geun Young.
↘When the group was debuting, he actually was on a radio show and cried because he thought he had no fans.
↘Star Golden Bell said that he was ranked 622th in the list of most searched singers on a search engine [he was the lowest of the group on that day].
↘He collected bugs growing up.
↘Yesung has a habit of touching people, most especially the members’ philtrums.
↘He is known to have a “weird aura. Like an assassin.”
↘His favorite season is autumn.
↘He had his first kiss when he was in 2nd Year High School.
↘He would like to go to Canada.
↘His favorite color is red.
↘Yesung has three pet turtles named “Ddangkoma”, “Ddangkkoming” and “Ddangkkomaeng” (땅꼬마, 땅꼬밍 & 땅꼬맹) and he used to own a dog named Sora
(suddenly thought of the video!)
↘ He usually gets cut off 90% from tv shows because he talks too much.
↘When he had his debut, it was only until a few weeks later that he was shown on stage.
↘He is part of Super Junior K.R.Y: Super Junior Kyuhyun,Ryeowook and Yesung
↘He once replaced Jonghyun from SHINee in their performance for their song ‘Ring Ding Dong’.
↘Yesung had to be in hospital after he collapsed after running for a charity marathon. He ran 70 km.
↘Yesung had to be in hospital after he fell off a 1.5m stage and was released two days later because he hurt his neck and waist.

national day come quickly!

2010-08-01T21:35:00.002+08:00

ok this is going to be the start of a stupid hectic week.
theres waves assignment quiz, energetics and entrophy class test
have to finish so many tutorials
hockey and everything

my econs and gp is like so going to die
since i got 2 lousy teachers. ok maybe im just not used to the way they teach

ok the hectic week have already started in the weekend
jap test was more difficult then i thought
must be that i am complacent

i must brush up my basics for everything
the fundamentals are the most important.

and why am i in FLOORBALLHOLICS?!
i cant remember agreeing to join
but nvm i shall be nice for once.

friday's hockey match was messy
but we all tried our best.

what is 林志颖彭于晏 parkhaejin doing?
ok eddie is fine i still get to watch some of his vids and he is updating on china twitter
but theres no news of 林志颖 and parkhaejin!
RAWR!

integration suck.

2010-08-01T11:48:00.001+08:00

rewatching. hahas yesung is really cute/ weird.
hahas but its ok(:(:

colourful stairs

2010-07-25T21:09:00.002+08:00

Bugis, Singapore.

i have passed by/ seen this many times

but yesterday i decided to take a picture of it

its so pretty!!!

anyways i went to suki sushi today

ddint get to eat ebi friedD:

but it was fun though(:(:

i getting ffat!

900th post

2010-07-23T21:39:00.002+08:00

i realised that i quite like 10sh18
although i dont really talk to the guys much
but they are always very funny C:
hahas except for parts where hanwen is irritating!

i can't wait to watch the bukit timah hill video.
mock jap test tmr
intense studying starts now!

p.s. 6/20 for consol. thats damn bad. MUG hard.
although i dont really like the word MUG

chicken wings!

2010-07-22T18:56:00.004+08:00

after like weeks of craving , i finally got my chicken wings!(:

racial harmony day!

2010-07-21T22:29:00.002+08:00

my racial harmony poster

racial harmony is fun! hahas laughed like shit at the guy making their racial harmony posters.

anyways mine is nice!

seriously, this is the first time i enjoyed racial harmony day!

ok then i was happy.

then came coach training which made my inner thigh hurt like mad

and all the "horrible!"

and all the other stuff.n

but overall i survived it!

not sleeping at 1030 today T_T

fair-ness

2010-07-20T19:24:00.003+08:00

this is to be fair.
i realised i haven't been talking about linzhiying for a long time already.
anyways hes so cute fretting about money upstairs.
theres like no recent picture of him.

haejin!

2010-07-20T18:52:00.003+08:00

i just realised haejin's photo is gone

hahas

so i decided to upload another

i hope it can move

look at daesung's face!

opps it doesnt look like it can move):

hahas

but they were so cute

edited@7.oopm

used photobucket. now they are moving!(:

hpmft

2010-07-20T18:44:00.003+08:00

maybe it wasnt on purpose...

nevermind i shall not dwell on it.!

anyway today was fine!

and theres like nothing much to blog about

i love eddie's china twitter hahas the sina thing

cause there is like constant updates.

theres so much things i want to eat recently
no wonder im not losing weight after all that hockey!
coach is coming tmr. i shall FEIGN enthusiasm. HURRAY.
but fuck. i dont want him to come
i know he makes us improve and everything
but he KILLS me):

maybe i wouldn't go to school on thursday. cause i would have died.
or maybe i should just FEIGN illness tmr.
oh and one more worrying thing
my JLPT things clashes with everything!

People if theres cip opportunities call me!
but i doubt anyone will see this. hahas

i want to do something cool!

2010-07-18T12:03:00.000+08:00

i want to do something cool!

a chicken wing craving.

2010-07-17T21:02:00.002+08:00

i just realised that i have been really superficial in my life
all i could do is rant and complain.
i want to look at this world in a more positive light, and then i remember the person who first influnced me.

we were young then i think about 12?
you had these IKICH thing grafitti-ed on your stuff?
i can't remember now, but to you the meaning of IKICH was a somehow a secret
but then you told it to me.
it means I KNOW I CANNOT HATE
i thought it was very interessting and meaningful,
and ,i too, adopted it.
from then on i never hated anyone.
but then there is this phrase called strong dislike. so i mainly disliked people
HATE is really too strong a word
but judging from my post yesterday i guess at that moment i really hated you.
one day have passed and now i think it have changed to strong dislike.
Maybe one day this dislike will just fade and fade and disappear, but for now it will stay
and i guarantee it will stay for a long time. I dont forgive and forget easily.
I am HYPOCRITICAL.
i may smile to you but i dislike you. thats how i survive.
so if you dont like me just get your butt out of my life
don't try to come near me.
maybe thats why i have little friends.

oh and i dont talk to that friend that taught me IKICH now
i wonder why. but i believe we are still friends.
I love my laogong who still calls me laopo when i talk to her although that was like so long ago
contact me if you must, i hope to get those old feelings back
im sick of being hypocritical
there are just too few that i can bare my heart to.
maybe now only 2.

fucking pissed

2010-07-16T23:56:00.002+08:00

i wonder if i have seen you wrongly
i actually treated you like a friend
and today what you can say to me while you are talking to some one else is
" go away! I dont want you to listen" or something like that
i can't remember clearly.
i was like just standing near you cause i was dribbling my ball?
whats you fucking problem
i had no interest in trying to listen to what you were trying to say, fucker.
then i was so bloody pissed.

moreover, you were so loud. i didn't even have to stay close to hear.
and couldnt you like use a nicer tone?
or move away?

damn you. you made my day suck

once my perception changes
it will remain like that forever. then maybe you will be the second person i dislike
congratulate youself.
so there is going to be another hypocritcal me again
but i dont care.

i think i have got enough true friends
and theres still my family.
moreover i dont need people who dont treat other people as friend
thats why i would rather treat every one as acquaintances.

still bloody pissed after like more than 6 hours passed
my last fuck you.

love ya, love ya, love ya!~

2010-07-13T19:24:00.002+08:00

oh no the song is stuck hahas. Cause the PA people played it during break.

got back more results today so i have double s and double c
i know theres nothing to be proud about, but i have never thought to get 32/50 for compre!
but luckily i got that otherwise i might barely scrape a pass
hahas

theres hockey tmr i shall work hard on my basics.
oh and theres econs test tmr
have to study later. i dont want to fail anything else again but its like the confidence is not there anymore):

jiayoujiayou

and theres no news of anyone.

breaking point.

2010-07-12T23:48:00.002+08:00

today is a bad day. im so shag after everything.
hockey and school is making me feel depressed all over again
i love hockey when there are no restrictions and we are feel to play
and the team spirit.
but when theres coach, everything turns stressful.
in fact the sight of he makes things stressful for me

and theres still school
totally sianz.
IN KOREA THEY HAVE DOUBLE S 501
IN SINGAPORE I ALSO HAVE DOUBLE S
both my econs and physics s then had a c for chem
i have never ever in my life get such a low mark/:

then pw is also so demanding.
i can hardly keep my eyes open

BTW

2010-07-11T22:49:00.001+08:00

by the way, i think my photo at the corner looks like 遗照! hahas

THATS RANDOM ANYWAYS!!

life? what life

2010-07-11T22:34:00.002+08:00

ok this is going to be a motivational post
i am going to work hard...
i am going to work hard...
i am going to work hard...
i am going to work hard...
kind of like psychological warfare, but i will not be beaten by anything
hahas

i will defeat hockey, pw and my studies!

i miss last week already. EDDIE come back!

an eventful day

2010-07-05T00:09:00.003+08:00

today was super eventful
and for people who are not sure that if your eye twitches, its 左凶右吉. hahas
cause my left eye have twitched like 3 days and today something really bad happened
but if the really bad thing didnt happen then lilin would have stopped me from getting eddie's album and then i wont have gotten his signature and he wouldnt have talked to me and i wouldnt have shook his hand!
hahas so maybe is 左吉右凶hahas

but i really damn suay today
actually left the tickets for the sheng siong show at my bro's room!
so like rushed back to take and then rushed back to jurong again
then layching tempted me lah
hahas.
BUT THE MAIN POINT IS I SPOKE TO 彭于晏! and shook his hand!
hahas its big and warm. his hand i mean. cause i dont know why mine was quite cold that time.
but seeing from the 我猜 he got bad memory hahas i bet he wont remember any of us except those super duper HARDCORE fans hahas.

and shengsiong show was quite lame and interesting hahas see how the tv people cheat
but 彭于晏's part was damn nice hahas!
he very 帅today!

and my sister says she thinks she like eddie. i think is for maybe until tonight hahas
but he really looked very good today hahas!

first time i panic.

2010-06-30T23:15:00.002+08:00

yesterday and today was the first time i panicked for an exam
i think i almost left half the paper blank today
i will be happy enough to get 30 marks.
quite stressed. i shall start studying again soon, need to build up my foundation for physics otherwise i will die even worse next time.

shall i start tmr?
anyway watching hot blood now!
its damn nice hahas i like the little stories! but haejin not so good looking inside

he is damn good looking in the photo below! i shall stare to relieve stress
eddie coming to singapore soon!
going to the shengsiong show to watch him but i bet i will sleep during the show.

gambatte kudasai! fighting!

hmpft

2010-06-05T20:25:00.001+08:00

im sick and tired of it.
damn irritated.
its just that your haha and everything doesnt feel real
and sounds like hints.

angry, but i cant do anything.

GAARA!

2010-05-31T22:49:00.002+08:00

I LOVE GAARA! hahas

busy life, but enjoying it?

2010-05-26T22:10:00.002+08:00

sometimes i kind of like the busy life i lead everyday
but sometimes i just feel damn upset everyday
feel like i cant fit in everywhere
im like below average in hockey like coach said
its not like i didnt try my best
its more of i have no talent, and sometimes i wonder if the passion is still there after so much disappointment with myself.

things are like not going well for me
and pw is not too.
i feel so screwed for pw
but on the bright side, it keeps your brain constantly churning out new ideas
but thats tiring.

and sometimes life is just sad
nobody knows how others feel
like mine):
i think that im like a hypocrite sometimes
but i shan't be that straightforward if i want to keep it like this
we are not that close yet.
damnit.

happy birthday

2010-05-02T22:06:00.000+08:00

yesterday is haejin's birthday i think
hahas

the scorching sun and my pi

2010-04-23T19:06:00.002+08:00

hahas wrecking my head over PI like often
final draft is like due tuesday and like i still feel that i need to change
hahahas

anyway PENGYUYAN's song is like not bad!
hahas
10 on some chart i heard on 1003 just now!

EDDIE file!

2010-04-14T00:25:00.000+08:00

i want this eddie file!

i have no life. OFFICIALLY.

2010-04-11T21:47:00.000+08:00

everyday is a mad rush.
i need to finish up!
jiayous.

A CURSE

2010-04-07T23:39:00.002+08:00

I CURSE THE PERSON WHO TOOK MY FILE AWAY IF IT IS INTENTIONAL!
damn you.

i have to like replace so many notes and lecture tests are like next week
hey god, how fair are you to me?
its no wonder i dont believe in you.

i hope i misplaced my file. If i misplaced it theres a chance for recovery
but if its stolen, its lost and gone forever.

I WANT MY MATHS AND PHYSICS NOTES AND TUTORIALS BACK
i spent so much time doing that!
super depressed now.
my practical are in my file too.

suck. what am i going to do?

EDDIE, you are going to sing?

2010-04-05T21:50:00.002+08:00

OMG EDDIE is having an album.

hahas should i like support?

i will like decide after i hear!

OMG!

online to do PI. its the saddest thing ever.

am i going to be able to sleep today?

I've got a silver tooth!

2010-04-01T22:55:00.002+08:00

hahas its damn cool
i've got a silver tooth!(:
but its not too good cause its like support and filling for my broken tooth.
then i will have to do some gum surgery on 26 may to push down the bone
AND do a crown
i hope it doesnt hurt too much!
and its like im going to miss school AGAIN!
i like miss school like mad ever since i came to NJ lah hahas
cause of hockey and mc annd now this!
cause the dental centre only operates on weekddays
i hope it wont affect my studies.
i damn scared that i cannot promote and retaain my 4H2s next year
no i must work hard!
hahas

studying and catching up of hw at KAP tmr(:
hope it is damn productive.

upsetted.

2010-04-01T00:01:00.001+08:00

i feel upset):
and finally got my angels' letter today
doing my pi
my teeth broke.

everything isnt going well

how many layers of shorts did they wear?

2010-03-31T23:36:00.002+08:00

HE looks good in this hairstyle!
hahas not shuai meh?
although i cannot get what the advertismenet trying to convey to me
hahaas

im transforming.

2010-03-26T23:16:00.002+08:00

im transforming into
1. a deaf person
2. a kiasu mugger

hahas
cause i like scared that people do more than me
as in comparing with people my standard not like superior muggers hahas.
i dont even mug, but i like keep doing homework is in the category of mug?

but i managed to do my econs hw that is due on monday and a part of apgp assignment question 2.
which is like an GREAT accomplishment since i never touch anywork on fridays.
hahas and this is all thanks to hanwen. thanks for asking me how to do that question when i havent even looked at the assignment ah and like suddenly making me into a mugger.

no i must retain my normal self
hahas!

but i kind of like the busy life i lead now(:

hockey, jap class, HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON in 3D tmr!
packed whole day(:

Oh ya hahas
how to increase food production
GROW BROCCOLI IN BACTERIA! (like insulin then they will like grow fast and in large amounts)
which is like a damn good and epic idea.

and the negative impact is like you have to eat one million broccoli to be have a little taste since it is smaller than bacteria?

pw can be so funny sometimes. But still the serious ideas are so boring.
i can come up with so many crap ideas.

i totally forgot!

2010-03-24T23:40:00.001+08:00

OH man i totally forgotten

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PENGYUYAN!

oh save my brain cells!

2010-03-24T22:19:00.002+08:00

PW is seriously an amalgamation of hell and dying of brain cells.
as much as i would like to convince myself that i love pw and pw love me, i cant
i just die when i am doing my pi
i hope it will improve as the time passes
i want an A for my pw!

oh ya and exco interview was @#% ):
i think i damn bu yao lian
and now i kind of regret
please dont choose me

and ya just because i was absent from school yesterday,
i have to like photocopy many copies of my mc to give to every subject teacher
like omg.
and the worse part is my printer died on me!
like##$%^&!

hahas im not using curse words
should i try for the sapphire scholars thing
and i want to take H3!

so first i have to study hard!

it all starts again.

2010-03-21T22:19:00.003+08:00

school tmr hais):

i love park hae jin, 林志颖 and 彭于晏 not only because of their looks
its because they CAN ACT!
continue producing good stuff people!

this is really random hahas.
and stop liking people with only looks people! wake up!

LAUGH!:D

2010-03-19T23:04:00.002+08:00

another thing that made me laugh today(:
watch the heartbeat FO version and original version

original

FO version

rssvctrmnfo.80.3x5
Uploaded by Ramyunsoup. - Full seasons and entire episodes online.

before i watch the original i thought the FO one was okay
but after, they are ridiculous! hahas
so cute:D

nice statement:)

2010-03-19T22:30:00.002+08:00

i saw this on facebook and i cant help but laugh:D
"I get it now. The school purposely gives us too much homework so that we can learn to prioritise and only do the most important assignments. Clever NJ :D -weishian"

is that really what the teachers want?

meeting on the train

2010-03-19T21:04:00.002+08:00

i think its damn cool to meet on a mrt
as in coincidentally.
1. its so long
2. an mrt arrive every 1-2-3 minutes

so how can you actually board the same mrt with somebody else you know and meet in the same cabin.

so believe it,
it way awesome.(:

anywayys
i read on a keychain that ppl born on 3rd september are naturally gifted to be entertainers
does that mean im a joker?
hahahas

:S

2010-03-18T17:03:00.002+08:00

sometimes i dont like a person and will think badly of him/ her
but then the person may not be aware/ doesnt dont like me back/ may even treat me nicely
then i will feel bad):

hahas i know this doesnt make sense but yeah thats how i feel sometimes

then i feel like a damn it hypocrite.
but of course, unless i really really really like extremely hate the person,
i wont let him/her know.

oh man. im a freaking backstabber/hypocrite):

OH NO!

2010-03-17T21:09:00.001+08:00

oh no
i cant do the GC maths thing
and i left the stupid GP homework in xianzheng's file and its due on friday
oh no
im sick oh no
hahas things arent looking good.

hockey camp!

2010-03-16T20:49:00.001+08:00

camp on monday and tuesday
quite fun!
donna said that haejin wasnt shuai/cute):):):):):
hahas never mind we just have different tastes.

i never thought they were shuai too.

nice song, nice mv, nice person!

2010-03-14T21:00:00.002+08:00

I liked this mv and song
and parkhaejin is in it!
sad.

JOEL TEOH!

2010-03-12T23:44:00.002+08:00

omg that day mr teoh actually realised im darker than before!
he notice me!!!

!!! PRETTY!

2010-03-08T21:47:00.002+08:00

THIS IS THE GUY IN THE FLOAT IN MY PREVIOUS POST
DAMN PRETTY!

im sorry, but i tried.

2010-03-08T21:16:00.002+08:00

my life is like totally messed up.
everyday feels like... i dont know
i feel lousy in like everything.

):):):):):):):):):):):):):):

hais
sometimes i wonder whether i had made a right choice
but since im here already i shall stick with it!

jiayou to me!

and when im stressed, like now, i just want to watch fo.

cute!

2010-03-07T22:29:00.002+08:00

hahas so cute. he cant swim and is floating around in a float!

the 25th hour.

2010-03-04T22:22:00.002+08:00

i think i need to have 25 hours a day or more.
im like totally busy.
everyday's like school hockey homework sleep.
and the cycle continues
finally had a break today.
went with lilin and xh to swensens.
hahas

i feel so lousy.
i try and try so hard and yet i can excel.
do you know how jealous i am?
when there are ppl that can naturally excel in sports im one that cant
oh and im not going to give up
because i know i tried.

homework accumulated:
VA tutorial Q7-9, forces tutorial, gp transposition(will is due tmr), redox ws,maths gc ca thing,econs outline, econs mcq for price elasticity.
and theres still jap

ok im off to do my hw.

p.s happy birthday lilin~!

im afraid.

2010-02-22T22:34:00.000+08:00

im afraid that i might break.

super love!

2010-02-21T22:36:00.002+08:00

his voice is super nice!

哀しいほど　光り出(だ)した
白(しろ)い闇切(やみぎ)り裂(さ)く翼(つばさ)になれ

冷(つめ)たい太陽(たいよう)に照(て)らされてた
飼(か)い馴(な)らされた自由(じゆう)があった
鏡(かがみ)に映(うつ)った奇跡(きせき)の夜(よる)
仮面(かめん)（マスク(ますく)）を外(はず)し始(はじ)めた　my soul

崩(くず)れてゆく壁(かべ)の向(む)こうは
絶望(ぜつぼう)も希望(きぼう)も同(おな)じ顔(かお)する
満(み)たされない　心(こころ)あるなら
飛(と)びたてる週末(しゅうまつ)のプロロ(ぷろろ)ーグ(ぐ)へ．．．

刃(は)のような風吹(ふうふ)く世界(せかい)
守(まも)るべきものは何(なに)なのか？
ひとつひとつ痛(いた)みを知(し)るたび
本当(ほんとう)の自分(じぶん)へと近(ちか)づく

消(き)えゆく　Fake Light
生(う)まれゆく　True Light
この手(て)に．．．

白(しろ)く染(そ)まる闇突(やみつ)き抜(ぬ)けて
新(あたら)しい時代(じだい)を刻(きざ)み続(つづ)けろ
解(と)き放(はな)した　心(こころ)のままに
果(は)てしなく続(つづ)いてく白夜(びゃくや)を飛(と)べ

heres another person i love superly!

the time is now.

2010-02-21T22:07:00.002+08:00

omg i am so lousy
i feel so lousy in everything
suddenly i feel like i cant do anything
its really very depressing.

so i am going to improve and become stronger
i dont want to be looked down upon by coach.
i tried my best the last time, and im going to try all my best all the way.
the only thing that im afraid of is that my determination will break.
sometimes i feel that maybe im not cut out for a sports cca
but nevertheless, i still want to try
now i have a chance, i shall.

lessons have also passed by in blurs
but i shall catch it soon
although its still quite difficult
but i will understand it in time.
i just have to put in more effort.

i will become stronger. watch me.

my horror!

2010-02-16T21:33:00.001+08:00

the cny holidays are over.
super upset now.
got lots of pics during cny

watched percy jackson and the lightning thief today!
hahas its good.
i laughed like mad.

(:

school tmr
hockey ends at 9 at night.
reading naruto! currently(:

damn my brother.@%^&*()_

ah!

2010-02-12T22:24:00.001+08:00

parkhaejin is really cute around hajiwon
hahas

the world of studying?

2010-02-10T21:39:00.002+08:00

welcome to the world of studying!
hahas i finally understand why ppl in njc mug
1. theres nothing to do during breaks
2. the lectures are really hard to catch although i like the style(:
3. i dont understand what the teachers are trying to say
hahas

i think im in hockey already
hope my physical is up to standard
my skills are like super lousy and im like super black
wonder if i will become closer and closer to the kun wei stage
hahas

im going running tmr, i think
nanhua on friday(:

assembly starts at 830 tmr, i get to sleep in

my mizuno shoes are turning red cause of the track):

CHALET!

2010-02-07T22:15:00.001+08:00

chalet with family was super fun!
prawned, cycled, bowled, bbqed, mahjonged!
hahas.

im super tired and theres still econs to read,
hahas

no balls!

2010-02-04T20:24:00.002+08:00

i catch nothing for econs):
hahas
ceteris paribus is the assumption that all things remain constant with only one changing variable!
its like so difficult.

i want to work hard this year
hahas

RAH!

2010-02-02T20:27:00.001+08:00

today is also totally tiring.
went ikea and cut hair.
end of day(:

messy.

2010-02-01T20:50:00.001+08:00

today was like flour+water+watermelon+sun+heat+more water+MORE more more water+games.

im totally tired.
but there were funny parts too.